Other People's Lives.

For me this post is quite significant. It may be a load of rubbish. It's a sign that I am beginning to find my identity again after a long time of feeling null and void. You know when you grow up, and you have certain friends who are the indie friend, the cool friend, the sexy friend: you'd go round to their houses, and prefer how their bedroom was more than yours, and liked their clothes more than yours etc...well, I've been stuck in that place for a while. I'm almost 31.

I used to have loads of hobbies. I did beauty blogging for one, and I LOVED it. It wasn't until a recent hen party, where a make up artist friend I had met on twitter introduced me as a beauty blogger, did I realise that I had this hobby. I gave up on it, because I simply couldn't afford every new product out there, and I'm no Lily Melrose. I  used to love looking at abandoned buildings (yes, weird) - I liked the history behind them, the architecture, and the sense of people's lives being stuck within them almost like ghosts. I had a dream to go to Tokyo to visit the Buddhist Monastery gardens and shop in the Hello Kitty stores...where did this all go?

I realised something a few days ago. I'm actually okay. I'm doing really well in the teaching job that I love, and am so lucky to have found my passion in. I have an okay flat (plagued by problems, but I'm not making them my own), and I have a lovely family and great friends. I need to stop worrying about what is missing from my life and start looking at what's in it. I could write a list of all the people I wish I was like here. I constantly look at my friend who lives in the same building at how beautiful she is, and how her bedroom is always tidy, and she's thin, thinking, 'why can't that be me' - why not? I've stopped eating so much rubbish, and I've learned how to contour. People's lives are not always as perfect as they seem, and it's fine to have eccentricities, quirks, positives and negatives.

So, this is a space for me. If people read it, brilliant! If not, it gets all of the stuff out of my head. And if one person reads some posts thinking 'I understand what she means', then that's great. I'll try and fill it with nice things: trips out, products I love, food, and general thoughts. I think it's about time that there are realistic blogs out there: life isn't always instagrammable, and that's okay for me.